Dealing With Grief From Pet Loss

Repost Aug. 21, 2014

A friend of mine had to make the difficult decision to put a beloved pet to sleep today. I thought a post on dealing with grief would be a fitting memorial post.

My most recent experience with pet loss grief was almost two years ago. I had an older cat who needed to get his teeth cleaned. This requires the vet to anesthetize the animal which can cause stress in older animals. While he was under they called to ask if they could remove a broken tooth. I said yes. There are still days that I wish I hadn’t. Luckily, he came out of the surgery just fine. However, we now had to give him oral medications, a pill and a mouthwash, once or twice a day. He stopped eating and withdrew from our company as much as he could. I then had to try to force feed him, but was still unable to get him to eat enough. We went back to the vet’s several times adding to his stress. In the end, I was home alone one night and woke up around 3 am to him crying and unable to move. So, we drove to the Pet ER. The vet there tried to save him, but I eventually had to make the decision to euthanize him.

Losing a pet when someone else has to make the decision to end their life is hard. It’s entirely different and, for me, so much harder when you have to make that decision yourself. Even if it is in the best interest of the pet. I’m not saying that those who don’t have to make the decision feel any less grief from the loss, but, making the decision yourself can involve so much more guilt.

I have listed some things below that I did to work through my grief.

- A memorial service with a few close friends and family that loved him as much as I did
- Made a small shrine for him and lit a candle for him each day. I still light this sometimes, especially on the anniversary of his death.
- Saying good night to him each night when extinguishing said candle.
- Making a list of all the things I loved about him.

Some people will see these things as silly. That’s just fine. Everyone needs different things. This is what I needed, and sometimes still need, to feel ok.

Below are a website and a few articles with varying tips on working through your grief after losing a pet. Remember that different things work for different people and that it will take time to heal. Allow yourself to grieve and do what you need to in order to heal.

Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement

Article by Margaret Muns, DVM - Grief and Pet Loss

CNN Article - How to Deal with the Loss of a Pet

Examiner Article - Dealing with the grief of losing a pet (link to original article I read no longer works. Here is a similar article from the same source - Coping With Pet Loss and Grief.)